DREAM August 14, 1941
I was with Jung in a foreign place.
Had something to do with the war. Jung had changed in appearance.
He had got leaner and harder and his hair was Prussian looking.
He still loved me, but apparently I was a source for some kind of information all of which was found in the past correspondence of Jung and myself.
These were the things Jung was betraying me with.
I had the letters in my possession and trusting him completely I gave him everything he asked for.
It was a most complete betrayal, yet I knew he loved me and also that he was possessed.
I could see by the different look in his eye … hurried and greedy.
Then I finally found out and confronted him with the betrayal.
He had gone so far that he had to go on, but for an instant he changed and the old look came into his eyes and he took me in his arms.
I said “This is not the Jung who wrote the green letters to me”. (Those letters he did not want back or use in the scheme).
He knew he was possessed too.
Somehow I knew that if Miss Wolff [Toni Wolff, Jung’s colleague and intimate friend] were there everything would be alright.
He had always told me of the devil in every man and I was seeing his. It would be exorcised by Miss Wolff.
After he finished loving me his face changed again and he went on with his work.
I was so very sad and hopeless, because I believed in him still.
Then the dream changed:
I was driving an old broken down car past Paul who was playing some game in a field.
The car had manure on the back of it. Man Paul was playing with said it was I but Paul said no it couldn’t be.
He said I wouldn’t drive that car, that anyway it was economically impossible.
I left the car and ran quickly up to my room.
Mother and the maids were there.
It was as if I were hiding and this some plot. I saw Paul go up to the car, still denying it could be I.
Mary’s letter contained still other significant items besides the dream.
I simply do not know what to make of this dream.
I have never had one like it before, where you were concerned.
I have pondered and pondered it. Am I in some way betraying myself? Has my Self changed so completely?
It has distressed me so much and I get nowhere. Am I overestimating you consciously so that I must have this compensating kind of dream, or what?
Oh, if I could only talk to you again. Will you write and tell me how you feel about it and what you think it means?
It is six weeks now since Paul left to join the Army and it has been a queer time for me.
First of all I never knew how much I loved him I guess, until he really went somewhere completely out of reach, where neither he nor I could do anything about it.
It is the first time we have had this kind of thing happen, because before we could always arrange somehow, no matter what the circumstances.
That is one of the good things about it I think.
But it is very lonely without him. I don’t suppose you have heard from him yet, because he has had little or no time to write to anyone.
He tells me that he has never before felt so well, or looked so well.
He has turned out to be a marvelous shot, which amazed him and everyone else and I believe [he] will go a long way in the Army.
He says that he is terribly glad that he took the step.
I heard from Frau Frobe that the Tagung [Eranos Conference] was a great success and that your lecture [on Transformation Symbolism in the Mass] was wonderful.
She cabled, asking me if I would publish it! Really. Isn’t that wonderful?
I replied very formally that I would be glad to and to send the manuscript at once.
Your eyes are laughing at me this very moment in the picture in front of me. ~Mary Mellon, Jung’s Friendships with Mary Mellon and J.B. Priestley, Pages 12-14