You dread the depths; it should horrify you, since the way of what is to come leads through it.
You must endure the temptation if fear and doubt, and at the same time acknowledge to the bone that your fear is justified and your doubt is reasonable. How otherwise I could it be a true temptation and a true overcoming?
Christ totally overcomes the temptation of the devil, but not the temptation of God to good and reason.
Christ thus succumbs to cursing.
You still have to learn this, to succumb to no temptation, but to do everything of your own will; then you will be free and beyond Christianity.
I have had to recognize that I must submit to what I fear; yes, even more, that I must even love what horrifies me.
We must learn such from that saint who was disgusted by the plague infections; she drank the pus if plague boils and became aware that it smelled like roses.
The acts if the saint were not in vain.
In everything regarding your salvation and the attainment of mercy, you are dependent on your soul. Thus no sacrifice can be too great for you.
If your virtues hinder you from salvation, discard them, since they have become evil to you. The slave to virtue finds the way as little as the slave to vices.
If you believe that you are the master of your soul, then become her servant.
If you were her servant, make yourself her master, since she needs to be ruled.
These should be your first steps. ~Carl Jung, The Red Book, Page 235