Black Books

  1. I. 23.

This evening I slept a bit at 6 o’clock.

Before sleeping I suddenly saw the face of my father, very vividly. He smiled and seemed to be in a very good mood.

At II o’clock at night on the same day before sleeping I saw my mother, somewhat as I saw her in the coffin, floating upward out of the darkness, her head slightly bent back, her eyes closed, as if sleeping or in a swoon, but living inside.

My father stood right next to her, smiling, in another state, he looked at her smilingly.

1922 8/9 January 1923 I dreamt that my father had returned from a long journey.

I thought, now for once he can come into my house and see my family, whom he never knew.

But he wanted to consult me concerning his marriage and I had to explain to him the psychological relationship in marriage.

2I. I. 1923.

[I]. I have nothing to say from myself. Speak! What have you got to say? All sorts of things seem to happen that I cannot grasp.

S. Much is going on. Disorder has arisen through the death of your mother. Her spirit spurred us to create.

[I]. Why am I so unbearably tired?

S. Because the burden is difficult.

[I]. Speak clearly. You hold back.

S. I can’t. Nothing flows. Everything is frozen since the death of your mother. And God himself is in the darknesses.

23/ 24. XII. 1923

Finally, a dream! ~The Black Books, Vol. VII, Page 232-233