Black Books

  1. III. 18.

How does this song go? Where am I really?

S. As always, you’re still on yourself. Where else should you be? On your miserable I.

I. What should I do about it?

S. How should I know? Does the likes of us know something of this?

We just know the other, but your I -the whole world is in a state of embarrassment because of it apparently also you yourself.

Therefore it was found advisable to get rid of the I in the name of this or that God.

Being alone with oneself has always been repellant to everyone. Will you give yourself up? Can you still do it?

I. What do you mean-give myself up? Can one truly give oneself up?

S. I too ask this of myself. Maybe wait, something might happen. The sharp opposes the blunt, white opposes black.

I believe that you cannot wait for the solution of this question. In the meantime do what is to be done first, pleasurable or not.

You have not finished with this task. Remain firm, endure. It must be completed.

Be alone-naturally-what will you do otherwise?-You live only for the sake of your work.

I. Don’t you believe that I also live for the sake of myself?

S. What are you without your work? What you are to others, you are through your work. Your work, that is you. Inasmuch as you do your work, you yourself live. You shouldn’t relinquish this despite reluctance-that doesn’t count.

  1. IV 18.

And now? What has been achieved? I am just sick.

S. Why are you impatient? Don’t you see the untamed animal in you? It won’t behave. You are still not tame enough. You feel it yourself. You resist yourself, you cannot submit to yourself. But you must accept everything that now comes with patience.  ~The Black Books, Vol. VII, Page 181-182