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Memories, Dreams, Reflections

I had another important experience at about this time.

I was taking the long road to school from Klein-Hiiningen, where we lived, to Basel, when suddenly for a single moment I had the overwhelming impression of having just emerged from a dense cloud.

I knew all at once: now I am myself!

It was as if a wall of mist were at my back, and behind that wall there was not yet an “I.”

But at this moment I came upon myself.

Previously I had existed, too, but everything had merely happened to me.

Now I happened to myself.

Now I knew: I am myself now, now I exist.

Previously I had been willed to do this and that; now I willed.

This experience seemed to me tremendously important and new: there was “authority” in me.

Curiously enough, at this time and also during the months of my fainting neurosis I had lost all memory of the treasure in the attic.

Otherwise I would probably have realized even then the analogy between my feeling of authority and the feeling of value which the treasure inspired in me.

But that was not so; all memory of the pencil case had vanished. ~Carl Jung, MDR, Pages 32-33