From Emma Jung
My dear Professor Freud, Kusnacht, 24 November 1911
Heartfelt thanks for your letter.
Please don’t worry, I am not always as despondent as I was in my last letter.
I was afraid you were angry with me or had a bad opinion of me; that was what made me so downhearted, especially because my main complex was hit.
Usually I am quite at one with my fate and see very well how lucky I am, but from time to time I am tormented by the conflict about how I can hold my own against Carl.
I find I have no friends, all the people who associate with us really only want to see Carl, except for a few boring and to me quite uninteresting persons.
Naturally the women are all in love with him, and with the men I am instantly cordoned off as the wife of the father or friend.
Yet I have a strong need for people and Carl too says I should stop concentrating on him and the children, but what on earth am I to do?
What with my strong tendency to autoerotism it is very difficult, but also objectively it is difficult because I can never compete with Carl.
In order to emphasize this I usually have to talk extra stupidly when in company.
I do my best to get transferences and if they don’t turn out as I wished I am always very depressed.
You will now understand why I felt so bad at the thought that I had lost your favour, and I was also afraid Carl might notice something.
At any rate he now knows about the exchange of letters, as he was astonished to see one of your letters addressed to me; but I have revealed only a little of their content.
Will you advise me, dear Herr Professor, and if necessary dress me down a bit?
I am ever so grateful to you for your sympathy.
With warmest greetings to you and yours,
Emma Jung ~Freud/Jung Letters Page 467.