[Carl Jung, Emma Jung and Toni Wolff]
- Carl Jung’s view of “Love” and “Life”
“Not the power of the flesh, but of love, should be broken for the sake of life, since life stands above love.” ~Carl Jung, The Red Book, Page 327.
The beginning of all things is love, but the being of things is life. ~Carl Jung; The Red Book; Page 327.
- Carl Jung on Marriage:
A marriage is more likely to succeed if the woman follows her own star and remains conscious of her wholeness than if she constantly concerns herself with her husband’s star and his wholeness. ~ Carl Jung, Conversations with C.G. Jung, Page 51
- Emma Jung on Toni Wolff:
“I shall always be grateful to Toni for doing for my husband what I or anyone else could not have done at a most critical time.” ~Emma Jung, Laurens Van Der Post Jung: The Story of our Time; Page 177.
- Toni Wolff on Emma Jung:
“You know, sometimes if a man’s wife is big enough to leap over the hurdle of self-pity, she may find that her supposed rival has even helped her marriage! his ‘other woman’ can sometimes help a man live out certain aspects of himself that his wife either can’t fulfill, or else doesn’t especially want to. As a result, some of the wife’s energies are now freed for her own creative interests and development, often with the result that the marriage not only survives, but emerges even stronger than before!” ~Toni Wolff, C. G. Jung, Emma Jung and Toni Wolff – A Collection of Remembrances, Pages 47-51.
- Carl Jung’s bas-relief stone monument to Toni Wolff:
- Carl Jung’s sculptured stone monument to Emma Jung:
Oh outstanding vessel of devotion and obedience!
To the ancestral spirits of my most beloved and faithful wife Emma Maria.
She completed her life and after her death she was lamented.
She went over to the secret of eternity in the year 1955.
Her age was 73.
- On Carl Jung, Emma Jung and Toni Wolff:
Fowler McCormick, a businessman and philanthropist from Chicago, was a close friend of the Jung family and he often told me in later years how deeply the Jung’s and Toni were respected in their own circle for keeping their personal problems to themselves.
Even the Jung children did not know of their father’s close relation to Toni until long after it began, even though they often saw her in their home.
He felt, and I would corroborate this impression, that as nearly as possible in our monogamous society, Jung found two wives in these women and so provides no model for the rest of us to follow.
It depended on a form of consciousness that totally transcended the ordinary worldly model-that of an important man who maintains a marriage and indulges himself on the side with a mistress. ~Memory of Toni Wolff by Joseph L. Henderson ~ C. G. Jung, Emma Jung and Toni Wolff – A Collection of Remembrances Pages 32-33.
- Barbara Hannah on Toni Wolff:
It might be said of her [Toni Wolff] that she was “Virgin” as defined for us by Esther Harding, meaning simply an unmarried woman who, since she belonged to no man, belonged to herself and to God in a special way.~ Sallie Nichols, ~C. G. Jung, Emma Jung and Toni Wolff – A Collection of Remembrances, Pages 47-51.
- Carl Jung, Toni Wolff, The Red Book:
He recalled that Toni Wolff had become drawn into the process in which he was involved, and was experiencing a similar stream of images. Jung found that he could discuss his experiences with her, but she was disorientated and in the same mess.
Likewise, his wife was unable to help him in this regard. Consequently; he noted, “that I was able to endure at all was a case of brute force.” [Red Book; Page 204; Footnote 118; MP; Page 174 and Footnote 119; Memories; Page 201]
- [Carl Jung on the death of Toni Wolff, the effect on his health and premonitory dreams]
To James Kirsch:
“Dear Colleague, Bollingen, 28 May 1953
At last I can find time to thank you personally for the kind letter you wrote to me on the occasion of the death of Toni Wolff.
On the day of her death, even before I had received the news, I suffered a relapse and had a bad attack of my tachycardia.
This has now subsided but it has left an arrhythmia which hampers my physical capacities very much.
I have ventured out to Bollingen over Whitsun and hope to recuperate a little more here.
Toni Wolff’s death was so sudden, so totally unexpected, that one could hardly realize her passing.
I had seen her only two days before.
Both of us completely unsuspecting.
The Hades dreams I had in the middle of February I related entirely to myself because nothing pointed to Toni Wolff.
Nobody who was close to her had any warning dreams, and in England, Germany and Zurich only people who knew her superficially.
At the beginning of my illness in Oct. 52 I dreamt of a huge black elephant that uprooted a tree. (meanwhile I have written a long essay on “The Philosophical Tree.”)
The uprooting of a tree can signify death.
Since then I have dreamt several times of elephants which I always had to treat warily.
Apparently they were engaged in road-building.” ~Carl Jung, Letters Volume II, Pages 117-118 [Excerpt.]
- [ Carl Jung reflected further on this issue after the death of Toni Wolff in 1953 and Emma Jung in 1955.]
In the published version of Memories, Jung discussed the issue of reincarnation, and noted that:
“Until a few years ago I could not discover anything convincing in this respect, although I kept a sharp lookout for signs. Recently, however, I observed in myself a series of dreams which would seem to describe the process of reincarnation in a deceased person of my acquaintance.”
As ever, Jung’s discussions in the protocols were more candid: the person in question turns out to be Toni Wolff.
On September 23, 1957, Jung narrated a dream he had had of her to Aniela Jaffe.
In the dream, she had returned to life, as if there had been a type of misunderstanding that she had died, and she had returned to live a further part of her life. Aniela Jaffe asked Jung if he thought this could indicate a possible.. . who are the dead, and what does it mean to answer them?
Rebirth. Jung replied that with his wife he had a sense of a great detachment or distance. By contrast, he felt that Toni Wolff was close. Jaffé then asked him whether something that one has not completed in one life has to be continued in a next life.
Jung replied that his wife reached something that Toni Wolff didn’t reach and that rebirth would constitute a terrible increase of actuality for her.
He had the impression that Toni Wolff was nearer the earth, that she could manifest herself better to him, whilst his wife was on another level where he couldn’t reach her.
He concluded that Toni Wolff was in the neighborhood, that she was nearer the sphere of three dimensional existence, and hence had the chance to come into existence again,
He had the impression that for her a continuation of three dimensional existence would not be meaningless.
He felt that higher insight hindered the wish for re-embodiment. ~ ” Sonu Shamdasani. “‘The Boundless Expanse”: Jung’s Reflections on Death and Life” Quadrant 38.1 (2008).
- Laurens van der Post on Carl Jung, Emma Jung and Toni Wolff
What she [Toni Wolff] meant to Jung on that perilous journey van perhaps be summed best in something he told me towards the end of his life.
He was carving in stone, which had become his favorite visual medium, some sort of memorial of what Emma Jung and Toni Wolff had brought to his life.
One the stone for his wife he was cutting the Chinese symbols meaning: “She was the foundation of my house.”
One the stone intended for Toni Wolff, who had died first, he wanted to inscribe another Chinese character to the effect that she was the fragrance of the house.
This imagery of meaning of which this ancient Chinese ideogram is a direct visual expression is clearly saying thereby that she was the “scent,” which represents the faculty of intuition I have mentioned.
And finally and most conclusive of all, there is the testimony of Emma Jung herself, great spirit that she was.
Just before she died she told a friend of mine close to both herself and her husband, “I shall always be grateful to Toni for doing for my husband what I or anyone else could not have done for him at a most critical time. ~Laurens van der post, Jung and the Story of our Time, Page 177.
He [Jung] was only about forty at the time, but, as we know, his schoolfellows at the gymnasium had already called him “Father Abraham,” and I think anyone who knew them both well, and often saw them together, would agree that, while he seemed the prototype of the wise old man, she [Toni] had a quality of eternal youth. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 86
It was anything but easy at first for him to find a modus vivendi by which she [Toni] could give him her extraordinary gift—it would not be an exaggeration to call it her genius—for companionship in the “confrontation with the unconscious.” ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 86
As we saw in the preceding chapter, Toni Wolff was brought by her mother to Jung because of her depression, accentuated after the sudden death of her father. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 86
I do not know exactly how long the analysis lasted but I think about three years. It was followed by a period during which they [Carl & Toni] did not see each other at all. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 86
Jung had already realized her amazing gift, and now he found that his feeling for Toni added to rather than diminished his affection and devotion for his wife and family. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 86
The reality of his family and home were an absolute necessity to him [Jung], especially during this time of facing the unconscious, and we must remember that his problem of how to include Toni Wolff in his life fell within the same period It was most essential for me. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 86
To have a normal life in the real world as a counterpoise to that strange inner world. My family and my profession remained the base to which I could always return, assuring me that I was an actually existing, ordinary person. The unconscious contents could have driven me out of my wits . . . [but family and profession] were actualities which made demands on me and proved to me again and again that I really existed, that I was not a blank page whirling about in the winds of the spirit, like Nietzsche. Nietzsche had lost the ground under his feet because he possessed nothing more than the inner world of his thoughts—which incidentally possessed him more than he it. He was uprooted and hovered above the earth, and therefore he succumbed to exaggeration and irreality. For me, such irreality was the quintessence of horror, for I aimed, after all, at this world and this life. No matter how deeply absorbed and how blown about I was, I always knew that everything I was experiencing was ultimately directed at this real life of mine. I meant to meet its obligations and fulfill its meanings. My watchword was Hic Rhodos, hic salta! Thus my family and my profession always remained a joyful reality, and a guarantee that I also had a normal existence. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 86
It seems hard that, just at the time he [Jung] was tried to the uttermost by his “confrontation with the unconscious,” Jung had also to deal with perhaps the most difficult problem a married man ever has to face: the fact that he can love his wife and another woman simultaneously. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 86
Jung also did not yet know that the anima frequently projects herself into a real woman and that this projection endows that woman with the whole numinous quality of the unconscious—yes, she even has the fascination of a goddess. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 86
We have already seen a first appearance of the anima, when Jung was still a boy, in the girl he met near Sachseln on his way back from visiting the hermitage of Niklaus von der Flüe. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 86
Toni Wolff was perhaps—of all the “anima types” I have ever known—the most fitted to carry the projection of this figure. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
She [Toni] was not beautiful in the strictly classical sense, but she could look far more than beautiful, more like a goddess than a mortal woman. She had an extraordinary genius for accompanying men—and some women too, in a different way—whose destiny it was to enter the unconscious. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
Indeed, she [Toni] learned of this gift through her relation to Jung, but she afterward showed the same gift when she became an analyst; in fact, it was her most valuable quality as an analyst. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
Many years afterward—during Jung’s long illness in 1944—she [Toni] asked me if I could teach her how to do active imagination, because she had never really done it at all! (I was amazed, for I knew she had helped many people with the method and as a rule it is quite impossible to do this unless one has already gone through the experience oneself.) ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
But I soon found out that not only had she [Toni] no ability to do active imagination, she had not the slightest wish (except for a dim feeling that she really ought to) to experience the unconscious at first hand. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
She [Toni] had no doubt whatever of its [Active Imagination] objective existence, but no inclination to go into it herself. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
She [Toni] could unhesitatingly accept whatever genuine experiences other people had there and give them the firmest support by her calm attitude toward the most irrational, even incredibly strange, phenomenon. I have never seen anyone else in the least like her in this respect, but then, people with a touch of genius are usually unique. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
During the time of separation [From Jung], Toni fell back into her original depression, not so badly, but unmistakably. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
Jung still hesitated to see more of her [Toni] outside analysis, however, for he knew how drawn he was to her and he was most reluctant to inflict any suffering on his wife and family. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
He [Jung] once told Marie-Louise von Franz and me that, curiously enough, it was his family that had given him the final impetus to seek a modus vivendi, whatever it might cost. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
He [Jung] told us that this fear had kept him awake a whole night, a night during which he slowly realized that if he refused to live the outside attraction [with Toni] that had come to him entirely from the unconscious against his will, he would inevitably ruin his daughters’ Eros. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
What saved the situation was that there was no “lack of love” in any of the three. Jung was able to give both his wife and Toni a most satisfactory amount, and both women really loved him. Therefore, although for a long while they were at times most painfully jealous of each other, love always won out in the end and prevented any destructive action on either side. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
Emma Jung even said years later: “You see, he never took anything from me to give to Toni, but the more he gave her, the more he seemed able to give me.” ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
The desire somehow to destroy the marriage and marry the man herself. Toni told me once it had cost her more than anything in her life to learn that she must not give way to this almost universal feminine instinct. It was a characteristic of Toni to learn facts slowly—she was an intuitive type—but once she had learned them, she knew them forever and never wavered again. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 87
She [Toni] also realized later that Jung’s unswerving loyalty to his marriage gave her more than she could possibly have had without it. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 88
It was of the greatest possible help to Jung to have the companionship of Toni, with her unfailing sympathy and understanding, during the greater part of his “confrontation with the unconscious.” ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 88
He [Jung] said: “Either she did not love me and was indifferent concerning my fate, or she loved me—as she certainly did—and then it was nothing short of heroism. Such things stand forever, and I shall be grateful to her in all eternity.” ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 88
Later, Jung often experienced such phenomena (loud reports in the furniture, for example) as a pre-stage to a creative effort (usually they occurred before he realized what he was going to write). ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 88
It was at bottom the same incentive as that which had led him finally to face all the difficulties of his friendship with Toni Wolff: not to accept the promptings of the unconscious had a negative effect on his surroundings. ~Barbara Hannah, Jung: His Life and His Work, Page 89
As you say, Toni’s departure was a terrible blow and we miss her very much; it still seems not quite true.
I hope that your cure is not too strenuous & will be successful; it would be a good thing for me too!
With warmest greetings,
Yours very sincerely,
Emma Jung ~Emma Jung, Jung My Mother and I, Page 568