In the eyes of the ordinary man, love in its true sense coincides with the institution of marriage, and outside marriage there is only adultery or “platonic” friendship.  For woman, marriage is not an institution at all but a human love-relationship. ~Carl Jung, CW 10, Para 255

 

Relationship is possible only if there is a psychic distance between people, in the same way that morality presupposes freedom. For this reason the unconscious tendency of woman aims at loosening the marriage structure, but not at the destruction of marriage and the family. ~Carl Jung, CW 10, Para 273

 

In a marriage neither partner sits on a throne. ~Carl Jung, Jung-Ostrowski, Page 52.

 

Hierosgamos. Sacred or spiritual marriage, union of archetypal figures in the rebirth mysteries of antiquity and also in alchemy. Typical examples are the representation of Christ and the Church as bridegroom and bride (sponsus et sponsa) and the alchemical conjunction of sun and moon. ~Carl Jung; MDR; Page 395.

 

Marriage is no help in this, one does not reach it in that way, for we have deceived ourselves when we find our own feminine in a real woman. Carl Jung, ETH, Page 115

 

You have experienced in your marriage what is an almost universal fact-that individuals are different from one another. Basically, each remains for the other an unfathomable enigma. ~Carl Jung, Letters Vol. II, Page 27.

 

I said last time that marriage did not end the young man’s difficulties. I said this in order to show you I am not under the illusion that people who have undergone treatment with me glide through life forever afterwards on golden wheels! ~Carl Jung, ETH, Page 183.

 

Seldom or never does a marriage develop into an individual relationship smoothly and without crises. There is no birth of consciousness without pain. ~Carl Jung, CW 10, Para 331

 

Marriage is indeed a brutal reality, yet the experimentum crucis of life.  I hope you learn to endure and not to struggle against the suppressing necessities of fate. Only thus you remain in the centre. ~Carl Jung, Letters Vol. 1, Page 172.

 

My parent’s marriage was not a happy one, but full of trials and difficulties and tests of patience. ~Carl Jung, Memories Dreams and Reflections, Page 315

 

As a country parson he [Jung’s Father] lapsed into a sort of sentimental idealism and into reminiscences of his golden student days, continued to smoke a long student’s pipe, and discovered that his marriage was not all he had imagined it to be. ~Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams and Reflections, Page 91

 

On the question of Hitler’s attitude toward women and marriage, Jung prophesied: “He cannot marry. Hitler’s real passion, of course, is Germany.” ~Carl Jung, Jung: A Biography, Page 305.

 

In all my eighty years,” Barbara Hannah attested, “I have never seen a marriage for which I felt such a spontaneous and profound respect. Emma Jung was a most remarkable woman, a sensation type who compensated and completed her husband in many respects.” ~Gerhard Wehr, Jung by Gerhard Wehr, Page 423

 

What I mean by this is that every epoch of our biological life has a numinous character: birth, puberty, marriage, illness, death, etc. ~Carl Jung, Letters Vol. II, Page 208-209.

 

The dogma of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary, promulgated by Pope Pius XII in 1950, contains several allusions to the “heavenly marriage,” thus proving how the unconscious world of images reasserts its timeless significance as a dark counterpart to the spiritual world of Christianity. ~Carl Jung, Jung’s Last Years, Page 68.

 

The very fact that a man enters into a marriage on trial means that he is making a reservation; he wants to be sure of not burning his fingers, to risk nothing. ~Carl Jung, CW 10, Page 112

 

While Mary had suffered from asthma since childhood, Paul had suffered from his parents’ mismatched marriage, and their separation and divorce.  ~William Schoenl – C.G. Jung-His Friendships with Mary Mellon & J.B. Priestley, Page 4

 

The Jewish conception of the religious relationship with God as a legal contract (covenant!) gives way in the Christian conception to a love relationship, which is equally an aspect of the marriage with God. ~Carl Jung, Letters Vol. II, Page 483.

 

Then after a pause, Miss Wolff added this: “You know, sometimes if a man’s wife is big enough to leap over the hurdle of self-pity, she may find that her supposed rival has even helped her marriage! This ‘other woman’ can sometimes help a man live out certain aspects of himself that his wife either can’t fulfill, or else doesn’t especially want to. As a result, some of the wife’s energies are now freed for her own creative interests and development, often with the result that the marriage not only survives but emerges even stronger than before!” ~Toni Wolff, C. G. Jung, Emma Jung and Toni Wolff – A Collection of Remembrances, Pages 47-51

 

He [Peter] wrote that since his marriage to Anne, this compulsive character in relation to his sexual libido had entirely disappeared. In this new marriage a true home-coming had taken place in both his inner and his outer life.  ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 268

 

Why aren’t they told betimes that the “prince of this world” and lord of the air” takes good care that the tastier morsels are snapped up by the wicked ones they envy so much, and that marriage is not the end but the beginning of the romance? ~Carl Jung, Letters Vol. 1, Page 370.

 

On the question of Hitler’s attitude toward women and marriage, Jung prophesied: “He cannot marry …. Hitler’s real passion, of course, is Germany.” ~Carl Jung, Jung: A Biography, Page 305.

 

Peter and Anne were married shortly before Christmas in 1931, at the Registry Office in South Kensington. The only other person present at their marriage was Joe Henderson.  ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 253

 

Clearly coniunctio represents an archetypal image of the development of the human intellect, which expresses sometimes as sacred marriage, sometimes as mystical or chemical wedding, the deepest longing of mankind, be it more erotic or-with no contradiction-more religious or even more technical and chemical in emphasis. It is always the combination of what has been separated, by means of which the individual is raised to a higher state, that of wholeness or selfhood. The outward process-be it a technical operation or a religious act-becomes the symbolic expression of an inward state, and even more: of a mysterium that encompasses the dimensions of both inner and outer and provides a hint of the unus mundus, the reality of a unified world. ~Carl Jung, Jung by Gerhard Wehr, Page 400

 

 

At about that time Jung’s autobiography, Memories, Dreams, Reflections, was published. In it I came upon a passage which helped me overcome feelings of guilt and gave me the courage to end my twenty-three-year marriage.  ~Jane Reid, Jung My and I, Page 557

 

From my work with women patients, I learned how important an emotional marriage with the father, or with his substitute (the first man in a woman’s life), is vital for feminine development. ~Jane Reid, Jung, My Mother and I, Page 103-104

 

Jung’s two colleagues, Peter and Cary de Angulo, both involved in the translation of Jung’s books into English, and both left with the care of a young child, make a ‘sensible’ marriage.  ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 195

 

He [H.G. Baynes] came to Jung originally because his first marriage had run on the rocks while he was in service abroad.  ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 147

 

(It had been Godwin’s fond hope that Rosalind could be influenced by Jung, just as he had been, and that this would save their marriage. However, this did not prove to be possible.)  ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 123

 

It was this friendship with Cary that enabled Peter to recover from the trauma and guilt which he suffered Chapter Fourteen – A new Marriage: Cary de Angulo 197 in relation to Hilda’s death and soon the friendship blossomed into love. ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 196-197

 

Cary was American, a woman of Peter’s age and in a similar situation: her first marriage had come to an end in 1924, although she remained on friendly terms with her ex-husband Xaime De Angulo. ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 196

 

Joe Henderson comments that Peter ‘tended to think that the marriage was what Jung would want him and Cary to do and Jung said himself to me once that he had no such idea at all.  ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 210

 

Finally, they came to a decision together and Cary and Peter were married on Saturday March 19th, 1927 at Marylebone Town Hall. The only witnesses to this marriage were his dear, loyal sister Ruth and her friend, Bertha. ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 198

 

‘I can see we ought to submit the question of our marriage to the elders of the tribe, as it were, because that is also a question of social ethic and in such things we have to submit to extra personal authority.’ ~Peter Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 246

 

Something of the vulnerability and sadness of this beautiful girl [Agnes Leay] had entered Peter’s soul and it was soon after his marriage to Cary that he began to dream of her as his anima or soul guide. ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 220

 

Joe [Henderson] had become a confidante of both Peter and Cary and he was probably one of the first people to know that their marriage was on the rocks. ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 215

 

It was soon after his marriage to Cary that Peter was already having fantasies about a beautiful young woman called Agnes Leay (who had some years previously been a patient of his). ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 213

 

 

I shall not recover his [Jung] friendship, I think, because he could not agree with my ending my marriage and my entrance into a new life with a new and young partner.’ ~Peter Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 248

In a talk Peter had with Toni Wolff, she too had made it abundantly clear that she felt this marriage would end in disaster. ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 248

 

It is a bad sign when doctors begin writing books of advice on how to achieve the “perfect marriage.” Healthy people need no doctors. Marriage today has indeed become rather precarious. In America about a quarter of the marriages end in divorce. And the remarkable thing is that this time the scapegoat is not the man but the woman. She is the one who doubts and feels uncertain. It is not surprising that this is so, for in post-war Europe there is such an alarming surplus of unmarried women that it would be inconceivable if there were no reaction from that quarter. ~Carl Jung, CW 10, Para 248

 

This time with Emma and Jung was the first opportunity for Anne and Peter to meet with them as a foursome. It was especially important for Peter who was still unsure whether his marriage to Anne had created a barrier between himself and Jung. ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 285

Although Emma had, ultimately, wholeheartedly supported their marriage, Jung still had reservations about it. ~Diana Baynes, Jung’s Apprentice, Page 285

 

Very often these changes are accompanied by all sorts of catastrophes in marriage, for it is not hard to imagine what will happen when the husband discovers his tender feelings and the wife her sharpness of mind ~Carl Jung, CW 8, Para 783

 

Most men are erotically blinded—they commit the unpardonable mistake of confusing Eros with sex. A man thinks he possesses a woman if he has her sexually. He never possesses her less, for to a woman the Eros-relationship      is the real and decisive one. For her, marriage is a relationship with sex thrown in as an accompaniment. ~Carl Jung, CW 10, Para 255

 

Henry Miller said “I have been debating whether or not to give you the message I received this morning. As I sat at my work table thinking over my plans for the day a voice spoke to me saying, ‘I have a message for Maud Oakes.’ On the other side of the table I saw an elderly woman resembling Madame Blavatsky [the famous psychic] who had come to me before in fantasy. Her message was that if you went to Peru you would experience danger, despair, destruction, disillusionment and disaster. In the end however, things would change and there would be some kind of marriage.”  ~Maud Oakes, The Stone Speaks, Page 2

 

Traditionally, man is regarded as the marriage breaker. This legend comes from times long past, when men still had leisure to pursue all sorts of pastimes. But today life makes so many demands on men that the noble hidalgo, Don Juan, is to be seen nowhere save in the theatre. More than ever man loves his comfort, for ours is an age of neurasthenia, impotence, and easy chairs. There is no energy left for window-climbing and duels. If anything is to happen in the way of adultery it must not be too difficult. In no respect must it cost too much, hence the adventure can only be of a transitory kind. The man of today is thoroughly scared of jeopardizing marriage as an institution. ~Carl Jung, CW 10, Para 248

 

Nobody but the absolute believer in the inviolability of traditional marriage could perpetrate such breaches of good taste, just as only the believer in God can really blaspheme. Whoever doubts marriage in the first place cannot infringe against it; for him the legal definition is invalid because, like St. Paul, he feels himself beyond the law, on the higher plane of love. But because the believers in the law so frequently trespass against their own laws, whether from stupidity, temptation, or mere viciousness, the modern woman begins to wonder whether she too may not belong to the same category. ~Carl Jung, CW 10, Para 265

 

Secretaries, typists, shop-girls, all are agents of this process, and through a million subterranean channels creeps the influence that is undermining marriage. For the desire of all these women is not to have sexual adventures only the stupid could believe that—but to get married. The possessors of that bliss must be ousted, not as a rule by naked force, but by that silent, obstinate desire which, as we know, has magical effects, like the fixed stare of a snake. This was ever the way of women. ~Carl Jung, CW 10, Para 251

 

The transformation I have briefly described above is the very essence of the psychological marriage relationship. Much could be said about the illusions that serve the ends of nature and bring about the transformations that are characteristic of middle life. The peculiar harmony that characterizes marriage during the first half of life-provided the adjustment is successful-is largely based on the projection of certain archetypal images, as the critical phase makes clear. ~Carl Jung, CW 17, Para 337

 

The young person of marriageable age does, of course, possess an ego-consciousness (girls more than men, as a rule), but, since he has only recently emerged from the mists of original unconsciousness, he is certain to have wide areas which still lie in the shadow and which preclude to that extent the formation of psychological relationship. This means, in practice, that the young man (or woman) can have only an incomplete understanding of himself and others, and is therefore imperfectly informed as to his, and there, motives. As a rule the motives he acts from are largely unconscious. Subjectively, of course, he thinks himself very conscious and knowing, for we constantly overestimate the existing content of consciousness, and it is a great and surprising discovery when we find that what we had supposed to be the final peak is nothing but the first step in a very long climb. ~Carl Jung, CW 17, Para 327

 

For this purpose, the biological parents are replaced by spiritual parents; godfather and godmother represent the intercessio divina through the medium of the Church, which is the visible form of the spiritual kingdom. In the Catholic rite even marriage where we would suppose it to be all-important that this particular man and this particular woman become united and are confronted with each   interfered with by the Church; the intercessio sacerdotis prevents the immediate contact of the couple. The priest represents the Church, and the Church is always in between in the form of confession, which is obligatory. This intervention is not due to the particular cunning of the Church; it is rather her great wisdom, and it is an idea going back to the very origins of Christianity that we are not married merely as man and woman; we are married in Christo, ~Carl Jung, CW 18 Para 362

 

I own an antique vase upon which an early Christian marriage is represented. The man and the woman hold each other’s hand in the Fish; the Fish is between them, and the Fish is Christ. In this way the couple is united in the Fish. They are separated and united by Christ; Christ is in between, he is the representative of the power which is meant to separate man from merely natural forces, ~Carl Jung, CW 18 Para 362

 

I hope you will find time to commit your plant counterparts to the earth and tend their growth, for the earth always wants children-houses, trees, flowers-to grow out of her and celebrate the marriage of the human psyche with the Great Mother, the best counter-magic against rootless extraversion! ~Carl Jung, Letters Vol. II, Page 320

 

Although we are still far from having overcome our primitive mentality, which enjoys its most signal triumphs just in the sphere of sex where man is made most vividly aware of his mammalian nature, certain ethical refinements have nevertheless crept in which permit anyone with ten to fifteen centuries of Christian education behind him to progress towards a slightly higher level. On this level the spirit—from the biological an incomprehensible psychic phenomenon—plays a not unimportant role psychologically. It had a weighty word to say on the subject of Christian marriage and it still participates vigorously in the discussion whenever marriage is doubted and depreciated. It appears in a negative capacity as counsel for the instincts, and in a positive one as the defender of human dignity. Small wonder, then, that a wild and confusing conflict breaks out between man as an instinctual creature of nature and man as a spiritual and cultural being. The worst thing about it is that the one is forever trying violently to suppress the other in order to bring about a so-called harmonious solution of the conflict. Unfortunately, too many people still believe in this procedure, which is all-powerful in politics; there are only a few here and there who condemn it as barbaric and would like to set up in its place a just compromise whereby each side of man’s nature is given a hearing. ~Carl Jung, CW 18, Para xii

 

Woman nowadays feels that there is no real security in marriage, for what does her husband’s faithfulness mean when she knows that his feelings and thoughts are running after others and that he is merely too calculating or too cowardly to follow them? What does her own faithfulness mean when she knows that she is simply using it to exploit her legal right of possession, and warping her own soul? She has intimations of a higher fidelity to the spirit and to a love beyond human weakness and imperfection. ~Carl Jung, CW 10, Para 270

 

This picture [as mandala] was done by a seven-year-old boy, offspring of a problem marriage. He had done a whole series of these drawings of circles and hung them up round his bed. He called them his “loves” and would not go to sleep without them. This shows that the “magical” pictures still functioned for him in their original sense, as a protective magic circle. ~Carl Jung, CW 9.1, Para 687

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