The numbness is like a death.
I needed total transformation.
Through this my meaning, like that of the Buddha, went completely inside.
Then the transformation happened.
I then went over to pleasure, as I was a thinker.
As a thinker, I rejected my feeling, but I had rejected part of life.
Then my feeling became a poisonous plant, and when it awakened, it was sensuality instead of pleasure, the lowest and commonest form of pleasure.
This is represented by Kali. Salome is the image of his pleasure, that suffers pain, since it was shut out for too long.
It then became apparent that Salome, i.e., my pleasure, was my soul.
When I recognized this, my thinking changed and ascended to the idea, and then the image of Elijah appeared.
This prepared me for the mystery play; and showed me in advance the way of transformation that I had to undergo in the Mysterium.
The flowing together of the forethinking with pleasure produces the God.
I recognized that the God in me wanted to become a man, and I considered this and honored this, and I became the servant of the God, but for no one other than myself
[Corrected Draft: it would be madness and presumption to assume that I also did this for others, p. 110].
I sank into the contemplation of the wonder of transformation, and first turned into the lower level of my pleasure, and then through this I recognized my soul.
The smiles of Elijah and Salome indicate that they were happy at my appearance, but I was in deep darkness.
When the way is dark, so is the idea that gives light.
When the idea in the moment of confusion allows the words and not the blind longing, then the words lead you to difficulty.
Whereas it leads you to the right.
That is why Elijah turns left, to the side of the unholy and evil, and Salome turns right to the side of the correct and good.
She doesn’t go to the garden, the place of pleasure, but remains in the house of the father” (pp. 125-27). ~Carl Jung, Liber Novus, Page 250, Draft, Footnote 197.